List you need for networks

When your network of supports are built, who can honestly trust?

Questions you need to ask yourself about your buddies and know that they will come through for you.


1. How well do you really know your supports and buddies? Maybe you've identified your group for a while, but you have changed and now do not see life as you did five or 10 years ago. Others times, you will have a friend that you've known for two years, and they are the best! Be sure to do a friend check and understand what they value respect, and honor and be sure it is in line with the Word of God (critical).

2. What's your buddies background? Not just what kind of work they do or don't do, but do they come from good stock? The Stock doesn't mean from chickens, beef, or turkey, but generational stock. It's good to know a bit more about a person and where they come from, which bring me to the next point.


3. Can your supporter "hold water?" What this means is they can certainly keep their word to you and not "blab" your situation to everyone they know and more. Holding water is essential, it's a good characteristic, and shows value and a trustworthy person.

4. How chatty is your friend? Chatty can be good, if it is positive talk and has structure and continuity in it, meaning no gossip. If you know of something that is not to be broadcast, it's valuable to keep the conversation in a secured area so others cannot take your words that suggestions meant for good for other ways.

5. Do your supports and buddies speak confidentiality in public? Sitting in restaurants or waiting in line, you wouldn't believe some of the conversations I hear, words spoken, and even if the person does not know you, you can bet that "someone" knows somebody and the discussion shouldn't be taking place. It's good to be aware of your surroundings and to whom you speak with.

6. Ethics. This is a significant characteristic in who you surround yourself with. Are your circle of supporters and friends ethical people? What kinds of things do they do to get their way or find out information? Ethics are one of the backbones to a personal foundation.

7. Are your supporters Christian and how do you define a Christian? First of all, just because a person attends church one Sunday for an hour a week does not fit the description of a Christian.  There are definitely a ton of "nice" people, but do your "checks" and be sure. Do they sound like one and walk like what (walking in the image of Christ)? That's a tough one, but, if you look hard enough, you can find those special people who have a daily relationship with Christ and surround yourself with them. They must be believers in Jesus Christ and talk with Holy Spirit daily, or it doesn't work. 

8. Who do your supporters and buddies associated with? They, being your friends and people you associate with. Yes, you can have associations with people that are not necessarily your everyday contacts, but they do talk with occasionally. 

9. Whose making "fire" and whose causing "drama"....be on the lookout. Fire means a Holy Spirit stirring, that is what you want, guiding for the right direction, intricate instruction, valuable time, effort, and so forth. Drop the drama and go ( get rid of it like a hot potato).

10. What is your level of friendship? Are you OK friends, good friends, best friends, besties? Level of association is critical and can help you grow as a person as long as you are willing to listen. Great friendships obviously are rock solid and don't collapse when the going gets tough. Your friends may have advice for you that you don't want to hear, but, if the input is spoken in a way that you listen to them clearly, calmly, and with good response, this could be quite the recommendation for you.

Make sure your friend knows Christ and knows something about the "power of agreement" because this will bring energy and stamina to your focus and requested prayers.

11. How do your support or friends talk? Remember, whatever is in a person's heart, that is the way they speak. How can you progress or someone that is advising you how to move forward if there's a lot of "potty" talk. The Intrusive and vulgar language with obscenities is not necessary, and it's empty talk. Sometimes when we get mad it's easy to let the tongue flow however it wants, but, it's best to exercise self- control as much as possible. Prophesying into your future with words that you speak is a big deal. Sure, you want past the domestic violence situation and you and your buddy are angry about the process of filling out paperwork, who is granted what, your missing money from your paycheck because you had to take more days off then you anticipated and your sick days do not cover those days, and the list continues. You then rebuke and renounce the enemy and continue to proclaim and declare with God's help, you can and will get through this time and be thankful for whatever you have. 

Most certainly, the situation of domestic violence is heart grueling and not fun at all. Then when you've been hurt so many times and are emotionally exhausted and bruised in areas clothing does or does not hide, and make-up just doesn't cut it, what then? Is your friend speaking great words over you? Your support should be speaking beautiful, encouraging, inspirational words over you daily. Maybe they are, that's exciting when there are passionate and empathetic friends to help wash wounds away and are used as vessels from the Kingdom of Heaven.

12. Who makes promises and is a "big" talker that cannot deliver and sets you up with disappointments? One word, eww. Watch out for these guys. Talker is cheap,  the action is what is valuable.

13. Anyone doing research; the leg work? Who are the ones making phone calls? Reaching out to others? Kudos to the friends helping in this area.

14. Where are your inspiration and encouragement outlets coming from? You fill in the blank here.

15. Boundaries, well-meant with prominent positions. What do those look like? Mountains are dissolved with boundaries. Working with parameters of what is acceptable to you. Make sure you and your buddies are on the same page as you work toward in your progress to empowerment.

Women Empowerment Solutions freedom from domestic violence.