Stamp out fear, postage free

Earlier this morning I woke up to a blanket of snow as did most in Oklahoma or at least in the Tulsa

area.

I still drove to church, which is at least 30 minutes from where I live on a "non-traffic" day.

As I drove across highway 169, all I could think of was how easy the drive had been so far.

My next thoughts were how I was terrified to drive in snow well over 16 years ago. I would not do it

and would have someone either drive me where I needed to travel, or I just would not go; I was

terrified.

Some of the reasons behind the fear were driving a vehicle on a street which was similar to an ice

 rink. Another, I remember a lady slid into my car when I was pregnant with one of my children,

luckily nobody was hurt. Also, I can remember my car getting stuck in the snow.

Fortunately, Oklahoma is very well known for prepping the streets with sand and salt during any

winter accumulation, and they do an excellent job keeping the roads and highways safe. I can say I

lived in a "hilly" area many years ago, which also attributed to that fear.

I am mentioning these fear areas because they are some elements that hold women back in domestic

 violence situations and I was reminded of that this morning.

As I mentioned previously, the drive this morning was simple, and I thought, how could I have been

so scared so many years ago to drive in that little bit of snow, but I was (back then).

Thankfully so much has changed and I have grown far from that fear. Now, I'm not silly and going to

 make it a day of driving in wildly snowy conditions, I know my boundaries- that's something to keep

 in mind.

With domestic violence many little fears linger; like if you are doing or saying the right things.

Who might get mad, decisions that are made, and if you can really speak up about something without

another flying off the handle because they were easily offended or caulking an attitude;

These might sound trivial, but they are genuine and crucial for the survivor of domestic violence to

know they can speak up without being condemned for what they believe, or how their person feels or

what they have been thinking. It doesn't mean the survivor is any less of a person than what another

person is, they just have been trapped in a sealed "envelope" so-to-speak, and nobody has unsealed

what their letter has to say.

Here's another example of hearing from the survivor (fear-wise): When there is a couple, and one is

doing so much more talking than the other, that is a super-sized red flag there is an issue. Sure, some

people are naturally quiet, you might say a phlegmatic-type personality, however, too much quiet is

an issue (while the other just likes to hear himself talk-talk-and talk)-check it out- The other person

does not need to do all the talking for both people. Stamp out the fear

and allow their "letter" or voice to flow.

Women Empowerment Solutions- freedom from domestic violence